MISSING MOM EVERY DAY

Today is the anniversary of the day that my mother was found in her bed.  It has been 12 years.  I suspect that she died on the 26th in the evening or the morning of the 27th.  Two morning newspapers were found in her mailbox by a neighbor jogging by...he knew she always got up to get her paper.  Plus her car was still there.

I shall never forget the day...June 28, 1999...12:00 noon...sitting in my home talking to daughter Julie and daughter in law Mindi.  Then the phone rang. 

Needless to say I was stunned and it has been VERY hard on me to lose not only my mother but my very best friend.

I want to honor her today with a few thoughts:

1. She always put herself last and gave constantly to the needs of family and friends.
2. She was with me when I was in the temple doing her temple work a year later to the day and she spoke to me there and also the next day at home.
3. She did beautiful handwork that she left with me, my daughter, all my grandchildren.
4. She was beautiful...dark brown hair and deep brown eyes...quite the opposite of me.  She was slim and always stayed that way...again the opposite of me.
5.  I can still hear her laugh.
6. She was funny
7. She was an outstanding cook
8. She loved to surprise me
9. She said that if she was ever to join a church it would be The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  She did on: Jun 28, 2000...what a joy to be her "stand-in".
10. I adored her.  I miss her.  I still cry for her. She gave me her heart, her time, her means every day of my life.  What a huge void there is in my heart.

Many of us do not appreciate our mothers until they are gone.  I have had one dream of her in these 12 years and it was one that was so real that I can still feel what I felt in that dream.

In the dream, her and I ran to one another and threw our arms around one another, cried and nestled our faces in one another's hair: I actually felt my mother's familiar body frame; her hair was the dark brown of when she was young and not the white gray of her 79 years; I felt the warmth of her flesh and I saw tears on her face through my tears.  We did not speak.  We just held one another tightly not wanted to let go.  I know that one day when I see her after I finish my journey here on earth, that our reunion will be just as the dream was....total happiness...total joy.

Thank you my dearest mother for giving me life, for raising me as a single mother, for sacrificing your needs to meet the needs of my brother and I, for giving of yourself in all ways.  Thank you for giving me permission to join the church when I was 15; for teaching me to cook, do handwork, to be a good momma like you...loving, kind, caring.  I miss you with every fiber of my being.  I love you.

(I WILL HAVE MY DAUGHTER IN LAW TINA COME OVER AND HELP ME POST A PICTURE OR TWO OF MY MOMMA...SO CHECK BACK.)

I know who my angel is that is watching over me!!